The Only Edict She Knows

Comm for Anon. Thanks again!

	“Damn weresheeple,” The monster girl mumbled as she scrolled through her imageboard of choice: Smugshota between turns of her favorite grand strategy game: a heavily modified copy of Crusader Maou III. Just like always, the /human/ board was full of ‘That feel when no cute human BF’ posts. She cracked the knuckles on her paw-like, purple and black fur covered hands and got to work. You dumb idiot, she began the post after clicking numerous post numbers, You absolute buffoon. You complete jub-brained neanderthal. Didn’t you know that human boys aren’t real anymore? They’re all fake, made by glownukis and the Druella backed legal system and the globalists. They spy on you, pump you full of toxic cum, and make you pump out an entire family so that they can grow up and pay TAXES! They use these taxes to build MORE boy-bots that keep pumping us mamano with children! Use your brain, dumbass!
She furiously put in the verification captcha and attached an image of a mad frog to the post. With a nod of satisfaction, the cheshire tabbed back into her game. With a smirk, she wiped out the last of the hellhound empire. Nothing more than attack dogs for the glownuki, just like ‘meat space’ as she called it. The various human empires were fighting amongst themselves and the cheshire’s Wonderland queendom was allied with the harpies and the cat lords of the east. After rearranging her units with various micro-managements and editing what squads they were in, she ended her turn and went back to SmugShota. 
As she checked her replies, most of which said Okay schizo and Touch grass, husbandless femcel with a healthy dose of This post reeks of soy. Lastly was the laughing human whores eating salad jaypegs that were posted in response. The sprinkles on this shitpost cake were all the mald, seeth, and cope posts. With a sigh, the cheshire known as Tabitha or Tabby for short sat back in her chair before watching the thread get pruned and deleted because of her ‘derailment’ of it. The cheshire played with her curly black hair with purple stripes in it and adjusted the thick glasses on her face. With the back of her hand, she brushed the chip crumbs off of her much too large Pussy’s Pizzaria shirt, “I just want to inform the unenlightened masses,” She mumbled to her computer. With the shaking of her head, she opened Crusader Maou III again. She checked the notifications, her heart starting to pound as she gazed upon the third one. Princess Delphine Sparkle Coat, the bicorn of Ulm, is trying to turn your King’s marriage into a harem!
	With an audible hiss, she alt F4’d out of the game instantly as the mega tilt washed over her. She would rather have a man alp than turn into a harem self-insert isakai protag. Silently, she vowed to add a mod to remove bicorns from her game. Her virtual husband was hers and hers alone! No horse-pussy-having, two-horned slut was going to steal her king from her. She rubbed her fluffy hands on her face and opened up the mod page and began to scour for more mods. A search for bicorn only got her results making them stronger or changing their default names. With a forum search, she found that any mods disparaging bicorns were banned due to polyphobia. A second search showed that the owner of the mod page was a nerdy bicorn. Tabby wanted to snap her keyboard in half. And then she wanted to snap the bicorn’s stupid horns off. She hated them almost as much as hellhounds. And glownukis. And lilims. And maybe even those other cheshires that gave nice girls like her a bad name with the rape and the teasing. And alps, of course.
	The thoughts of sex clouded the cat woman’s mind as she dropped herself onto the bed. Her fluffy arms wrapped around her body pillow depicting the protagonist of Thief, Garrett in his full dark get up in a somewhat provocative pose. The other side was a lot more lewd and embarrassing, so much so that Tabby asked for it not to be described within the text of this little love story. Her lithe form and all four of her dark, fluffy limbs wrapped around the pillow, “Why can’t you be here to steal me away, oh handsome rogue?” She sighed as she pulled a blanket over herself, “Away from all the plebs and glow in the darks. Treat me like a princess, a crown jewel in a private collection,” Tabby rolled over and took her glasses off, her vision blurring heavily as she got settled into a cat nap. 

	The phone rang, rousing Tabby from her light, sleepy kitty-like slumber. With a now pounding heart and a heavy whine in her mumbling protests, she rolled over to her nightstand. First, her glasses went on as her rounded feline ears vibrated with every ring of the buzzing phone. The cheshire scooped up her specially made Bean Pad brand phone and swiped to answer the call, “Hello?” She groggily greeted as she grabbed the earpiece and clipped it to her cat ear. 
	“Taaaaaabby!” A cheerful voice cried, making the cheshire wince from the volume, “Sorry! Were you sleeping?”
	“Yeah…” Tabby sat up, shoving the Garrett body pillow away, “What’s up, Pepper?”
	“Well,” The march hare’s tone turned coy, “Since it's the weekend, I thought we could head to the bar tonight!” 
	Tabby had to bite her tongue to stifle her groan. The hare’s peppy tone was giving her a headache, “Ugh… I don’t know.”
	“What are you gonna do tonight? Rewatch BoBo’s wacky journey? Or play Champions of… Magic and Might three? Tycoon-Coaster Two? Maybe read that one book about that dumb wizard and the hog’s warts?”
	“... I don’t think you got a single title right, Pepper,” Tabby sighed, “And I don’t even like that book series!”
	“Come on Tabby Cat! I’ll buy you a beer and some wings, friend. I just don’t want to go boy hunting alone,” Pepper whined. 
	“You actually want to go and find yourself an android man?” Tabby scoffed, “You’re gonna go whether I come or not, so I better come with you to keep you safe.”
	“Yes! I’ll be over in thirty. We should be there by eight PM.”
	“Eight? It's only…” Tabby looked at the clock. It was indeed seven fifteen in the evening. Pulling her drab curtains aside, the evening sun spilled into her room, spraying its orange glow across the bed, desk, and every poster from a 90’s game that she had hastily thrown on her walls with double sided paste, “I’ll be ready.”
	“Alright! I’ll be there soon!” Pepper gleefully squealed as a few thumps were heard through the phone.
	Tabby made an annoyed face, easily imagining the nerdy bunny bounding all over her apartment. She was hopping her way to another noise complaint at this rate, “Be here in twenty, okay? I don’t need to do much.”
	“Easy! See ya!”
	The phone call ended. The silence of Tabby’s room was deafening, at least until the ringing dissipated and she could hear the fans of her personal computer. With a deep breath, the cheshire made her way to the bathroom. She peeled her shirt and frilly panties off as she used her dark purple tail to flip the water on. Soon, hot steam filled the small, tiled room and she was lathering shampoo in her furry limbs and hair.
	‘Gazers are weird,’ She thought, ‘Why are they called mono eyes? They have like, six to ten of them. And what about owl mages? Sure, they could cast a simple spell, but why not call them… library birds? That’s all I know them from. I swear, every time I go to look at the fiction section I see at least three of them. Speaking of books… Should I read Catcher in the Rye? There’s not another John Lennon though, probably a waste of time. Would another equally as boring book drive me to think of a musician or band as crappy as the Beatles?’ Her mind quickly pivoted, ‘What kind of revolver would I want? I probably couldn’t pull off the Dirty Harry style giant revolver. Maybe a little, old police pistol? Ugh, but would that make me look like a fed? Or would a glock make me look that way?’ She shook her head, ‘Glocks are so damn ugly. Shit, how long has it been?’ Tabby quickly rinsed herself of the soap and flipped the water off. 

	The droplets of the light rain splattered quietly against the windshield of the rumbling car. The suspension rocked and jumped as the rabbit woman drove over shallow holes in the road. Pepper’s small, purple car’s brakes squealed loudly at every red light, “Maaan,” she whined, “We’re hitting every red! I thought cheshires were supposed to be good guides!”
	Tabby sank in her seat, “You know that I’m a fifth generation cheshire. I don’t have any of those powers. I’ve barely even been to Wonderland. Can’t teleport and the invisibility is really limited. And lord knows I don’t have any sense of direction.”
	“I was just joking!” Pepper laughed, one of her pink fluffy rabbit legs impatiently thumping against the floor of her car, “I’m almost as removed from our homeland, Tabby Cat. I mean, you’ve met my mom, right?”
	“Yeah, she was groping and molesting your dad three times a minute, even when I was over. I just wanted to play Halo with you. Everything he would say she would take in the lewdest way possible.”
	“Be glad you never met my grammy,” The march hare adjusted her pink button up, the top of her breasts visible due to how low she was buttoning it. Over that was a white, heavier coat, “Almost there. Ready?”
	Tabby adjusted her glasses and unzipped her purple hoodie to reveal the Quake shirt she had on. It was a brass colored logo on a black shirt. She adjusted her belt that held up her blue jeans and pulled her hair back into a bun, “I guess. Ready for what?”
	“Ready for boy hunting, duh!” Pepper rolled her eyes, “You just need a good man to dick you down good to calm you down.”
	“I don’t need an android to–”
	“Pump you full of babies who will go on to pay taxes so the danukis and can buy more yachts and farmland and whatever,” Pepper hastily finished her sentence, “I know the spiel! Here,” Pepper opened the sunglass holder overhead and offered the cheshire a little device. It had a white plastic shell and a circle of orange buttons along with an LCD display. 
	Tabby found an inlaid switch on the back and flipped it. The screen turned on and the device gently hummed. REPLICAN’T the logo said in big, digital letters, “Like… Blade Runner replicants? What is this?” She was suddenly thinking about revolvers, but this time futuristic revolvers.
“It's a detector for androids. You’re not the only one peddling those theories. With this, you can figure out if someone is a robot!” Pepper stopped at a sign and beamed at her friend with a huge smile on her face, “Perfect for finding a real guy.”
“Oh… thank you very much,” Tabby smiled back.
“By the way, how’d this whole android conspiracy start?” The hare wondered.
“Have you ever seen a mamano mother with a human son?” The cheshire challenged.
“Tch!” The pink rabbit scoffed loudly, “Yes! I have! All the time!”
“Well, mamano are cursed to never have human sons–”
“No they’re not! Not anymore! That’s been solved for DECADES!” Pepper hollered, putting her head in her hands. 
	“Uh, how do you know that?” Tabby indignantly replied, “They’re fakes, made to look realistic and they’re full of milked cum from REAL human men and they’re thrown out into the wild to impregnate monsters like us! Have you ever touched a human man and felt how cold and clammy his hands are? The robots can’t generate heat in their hands because they’re too thin! Real men dried up ages ago! We’re a mere decade away from the harem based collapse of mamanoan society!”
Pepper groaned loudly, “I should have tried to find another wingman. Just try not to embarass me at the bar…”
“I will not be silenced from redpilling the weresheeple around me,” Tabby huffed and folded her arms. Pepper just groaned in fake agony again as she found a place to park. 

	The bar was on the smaller side, but according to Pepper that was part of why it was so comfy. Tabby didn’t care much. The lights overhead were a little dim above the near empty bar along one wall. On the opposite wall were a few booth seats with two pool tables between them. On the furthest end of the establishment was a small stage currently hosting a karaoke night.
The bartender and proprietor of the establishment was a kikimora with black, feathery hair. She wore a white two piece suit with a black bowtie. Dashing, sure, but Tabby thought a frilly maid outfit would fit better. Traditionalism and all that, “Need something, hun?” The bartender asked as she polished some shot glasses.
	Pepper leaned over the counter, “Hi, Miss Falane. My friend here needs some B-B-Q wings and a tall beer. For me… How about a lemon drop?”
	“Comin’ right up, Pepper. Looking for a man again?”
	“Well, yeah. But I brought Tabby Cat with me and she's a good luck charm!”
	The kikimora smiled warmly and nodded slowly as she wrote down the order, “Let’s hope so. Just try not to cause a fight over a game of pool again.”
	“Oh, come on! That wasn’t my fault at all!” Pepper sighed as she was handed her drink, “That werewolf was way too sloshed and her man couldn’t hold her back at all!”
	“Women like that should be on a leash and harness,” Tabby mumbled as she watched the kikimora pour her a foamy drink. 
	“Kinky,” Miss Falane grinned at her own joke, “My husband was bartending that night. He struggles to push back when a girl whines about him threatening to cut her off. Here hun,” She set the drink down on a cork drink coaster, “The wings will be out soon. Fries as well or do you prefer tots?”
	“Tots, please. And some kind of spicy dipping sauce or ketchup for them,” The cheshire politely replied, “So you’re off to harass robots?”
	“Robots–” Pepper gave her a blank look then scoffed in realization, “Yeah, sure whatever you wanna call men these days. Unlike you, I REALLY want a man to suck my tits and bust a nut in me. Maybe grope my ass too.”
	“Whatever happened to not being as horny as your ancestors?” The cheshire scoffed as she sipped on her drink.
	“Whatever, party pooper. I hope your wings are good.”
	“Thanks, have fun with the cumming, ass grabbing robots,” Tabby smirked.
	“I will~!” The rabbit girl sang as she started to prowl around the bar.
	As she took another drink, Tabby watched as Pepper wasted no time finding a guy to try to cuddle up to. Most people in the bar were human men in small groups drinking beer together with one or two monster girls or even human women amongst them. The rabbit girl quickly found a pair of men playing a card game at a booth and started chatting them up, “Oooh, these cards are cool!” She exclaimed as she slid into the booth.
	Tabby rolled her eyes and started to browse the internet on her phone. A few minutes and sips of beer later, the wings were brought out. A big plate of bone in, barbeque sauce covered, steaming hot, and glistening wings were placed before her. To one side was a few carrot and celery sticks, on the other was a little pile of tater tots, and set next to the plate was a little cup of bleu cheese and another of ketchup, “Thank you,” Tabby said as her stomach growled from the hunger.
	“You’re welcome, hun. Ya better not leave with a stomach growling like that,” The kikimora smiled before stepping away to take the orders of a group that had just wandered in. Three guys, two of them getting rum and Coke with the third getting a simple lemonade before sitting at the bar, two seats away from Tabby. The other two guys hurriedly got a game of billiards started together. 
	Across the two empty barstools, Tabbitha stared at the man who slowly sipped on his sour drink. He had short brown hair with bangs that had been hastily swept to one side. His eyes were what Tabby was drawn to, placed above his angular jaw and thin nose, the big round eyes on his face were purple, the sign of a magical or mamano mother in a man. Tabby’s clawed finger tapped on the countertop as she looked him over. Other than the angularity of his face, she struggled to see any telltale signs of an android. The man glanced over at her, the two making eye contact for a moment before Tabby hastily turned back to her food. 
	The cheshire started to sweat as her heart fluttered. He looked at me. He looked right in my eyes. Did he smile? Oh god, should I have exposed my chest a little more? Shit what am I thinking? She shook herself and rubbed her forehead. She glanced back over as her stomach filled with make-believe butterflies. Anxiety and stress made her tunnel vision on him. It was like her brain made her vision zoom in like the scopeless zoom of early 2000’s first-person-shooters. Tabby put her elbow on the bar and her head against her hand. She tried to play it cool as she tried to sneak another peak at the man. He was wearing an unzipped green hoodie, jeans, and black skateboard shoes. 
	“I DON’T WANT,” A voice shrieked at the karaoke stage at the far end, “ANYBODY ELSE,” Much to Tabby’s Chagrin, it was none other than Pepper tearfully yelling into the mic in a slurred speech, “WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU, I TOUCH MYSELF!”
The shitty eight-bit chiptune cover of Divinyl’s ‘I Touch Myself’ grated against Tabby’s ears along with her friend’s off-tune singing. Her cat ears flattened against her head and she removed her glasses as she rubbed her eyes. 
“Are you alright?”
“Huh?” Tabby whipped around hurriedly. Through her blurry vision, she saw the guy sitting with her at the bar was now looking at her.
“You’re, uh, looking green.”
After putting her glasses back on, Tabby looked down at her fluffy hands, “No, I’m–I’m, uh, still purple.”
“I– I meant your face,” The man chuckled anxiously.
“Uh,” Tabby grabbed her drink and downed a big swig of it, “Ah, yeah. Her singing is a little rough,” Her stomach twisted and her blood rushed through her body, “That’s a cool shirt,” She mewled.
“Huh?” He looked down and pulled his jacket back and looked down at the design. Tabby could easily recognize it once it was visible, on a faded tan shirt was the faded logo of the iconic The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, “You, uh, like Zelda? I don’t know a lot of monster girls that play video games.”
“I LOVE Zelda,” Tabby replied, finishing off her beer in a big gulp. She sighed and waved down the kikimora for a second one, “Another drink, please… Yeah, Zelda is great. I really like the Two-D ones.”
“Really? Most people I know like the Three-D stuff better. My friend won’t shut up about Majora. I think Minish Cap might be my favorite.”
“Oooh, that’s a good one. I think I like Link’s Awakening the best,” Tabby scratched her chin before taking another big swig, “Or Link to the Past, of course.”
“Can’t beat that one,” The man chuckled nervously. 
The two young adults both looked at eachother then looked away. Tabby fidgeted in her seat while the man swayed in his, “Uh,” The cheshire’s stomach felt like her guts were being twisted by the colony of butterflies that played in her tummy, “T-Tabby.”
The man blinked, “Huh?”
“Tab–Tabitha. My- name is Tabby,” She felt the bile of vomit bubbling up as her innards felt like they were contorting.
	The man nodded, “Ah, uh, George.”
"George, huh?”
	The two continued to awkwardly stare each other down, neither sure where to take the conversation, “Oh my god, just kiss already,” Pepper groaned from the seat beside Tabby.
	The cheshire’s hair stood on end from the sudden startling, “Ah! Pepper!” She nearly spilled her drink as she jumped.
	“Pepper?” George blinked slowly, “Were you the one singing that awful song?”
	“Hey! I sang just fine!” The hare scoffed.
	“N-no I mean that song sucked ass. Not you.”
	“Ah,” Pepper looked him up and down as she wrapped her arm around Tabby’s shoulders, “You got dibs on him?”
	“Pepper!” Tabby shouted and pushed her friend off, “I’m just talking to him!”
	“Fine. But did you scan him for a robotic penis? One that’ll fill you up like a Twinkie or whatever?” The hare asked.
	“SSH!” The cat grit her teeth at her friend. 
	The pink rabbit just laughed and pat her friend on the back, “Just don’t scare him off. Here,” She got down and picked up the small, lithe cat girl and moved her down to the seat right next to George before sliding her food and drink over, “Have fun you two!” Pepper stepped away before looking for another man to harass.
	“So, uh. What was that about Twinkies?” George asked quietly.
	“Maou, give me strength,” Tabby mumbled before finishing her second beer. The inebriation was starting to hit her slowly, “You ever hear that monster girls– I doubt a human would know this– ever hear that monster girls cant have human sons? No sons at all?”
George nodded, “Yeah. That’s in the history books, Tabby.” 
	Tabby threw a few tots in her mouth after dipping it in the spicy ketchup, “Then why are there human sons of monster girls running around now? The answer: robots. Robots that are made by the glownukis to fill mamano women with CUM like a jelly filled donut so they have offspring that can be taxed too.”
	“I–” George’s mind was slowly turning, desperately trying to understand what Tabby had just told him. In that time, the cheshire got a third beer, “Tabby. Tabbitha. My mom is a monster girl. My mom is a set of cursed armor.”
	The thoughts of the logistics of that were quickly pushed from the cat’s head, “Bull crap,” She scoffed, “Your mom is probably in league with the lizards from space. You’re probably a robot.”
	“I’m not– how would I even prove that I’m not some kind of robot?” George sighed and leaned against the bar. 
	“Well–” Tabby rapidly pat her pockets, “With this!” Without a warning, she pressed the Replican’t device against his chest, “Shoot, hold on,” Tabby fiddled with the device, turning it on then pressing the button to start a scan. ‘PRESS AGAINST FOREHEAD.’ The text on the device’s simple screen demanded. Tabby complied, pressing the now warm device to George’s head. He was too stunned to react, letting the cheshire do as she pleased. After a few moments, the Replican’t device beeped and spat out a green screen with the word human in all capital letters, “Huh. Would you look at that? I guess you aren’t a robot…”
	The man chuckled and decompressed slowly from the sudden stress, “You still don’t sound convinced.”
	“Can I… see your hand? For my last check.”
	“Alright, just don’t jab me with a needle or something,” George held one of his hands out while the other picked up his drink. Tabby, without another thought, grabbed his hand with both of hers like one would hold a hamburger. She quickly felt the warmth of his skin instead of the cold, clammy, boney hands she had expected. Still holding the hand, she looked up at George whose face had turned red. 
The cheshire’s heart skipped a beat and started to pound faster before she let him go, “S-sorry. I…” She anxiously played with her own hair, “I don’t think you’re a robot.”
	“That’s uh… reaffirming,” He smiled nervously for a few moments. Both of them were quiet, hearing only the pounding of their own hearts and Pepper on the karaoke stand were the only things audible, “So, uh. What were you saying about glownukis and lizards?”
	Tabby chugged some more beer, “Alright, so…”

	“So…” George ate half of a mozzarella stick, “The lizard mamano, but not salamanders, are from space.”
	“Yes,” Tabby was three beers deep and munching on bar food.
	“And they control the tanukis– glownukis?”
	“Right, that’s what I said.”
	“And they’re putting chemicals in the water to turn those mucus toad girls gay? And they use the new gay toads to make porn that they upload online to distract real men from going out and marrying mamano so that the robot or android men get them pregnant instead?” George’s tone was full of disbelief.
	“Yes! You get it!” Tabby bounced excitedly in her chair, “What do you think?”
	“Well, I think it's missing some pretty important stuff. Like,” He shook his head, “If the lizards are really underground about this, and the glownukis are only working in the background, then who is their muscle?”
“What? Well…”
	“Kakuens. They’re brutish, muscular women. Completely vicious from what I’ve seen online.”
Tabby’s ears perked up, “Yeah… yeah that makes sense. Hellhounds too,”
“Fifty percent of the crime,” They both said in unison.
“It's so obvious!” George exclaimed, “Crime, fear, all that stuff, it's how they keep people like you and me down. It's just a matter of time before they send a kakuen or hellhound after me…”
He turned to Tabby. The cheshire’s big yellow eyes were staring at him. Oh, I can’t not fuck him, Tabby thought as her heart melted from George’s reveal of his power level.	
	 “Hey, Tabby Cat,” Pepper plopped down on the stool next to Tabby, “I’m ready to go home. I think I should just find a bicorn to let me into a harem or something at this rate. Can’t find a half decent man in this day and age. I blame the chastity revolution,” The hare whined.
	“Is it really that bad?” George wondered aloud.
	“You don’t know the half of it. It's been this bad for years. You boys have it so easy. Some nerdy cat girl is willing to just fall into your arms head over heels. So,” Pepper’s discontented look made George on edge, “Are you gonna drive her home like a real gentleman?”
	“Uh,” The man glanced at the cheshire.
	“I would love it if you would,” Tabby smiled softly.
	He nodded, “Alright. I’ll take her home. My friends will find a way home. Gotta grab some gas, I hope you’re okay with that.”
	“Of course,” Tabby replied as she finished some tots off and followed him out. 
	“Have fun you two~” Pepper sang despite the unhappiness on her face as she watched them go.

	“Are you really that hateful of bicorns?” George asked as he pulled into a gas station. Sweet Dreams Are Made of These played quietly through the radio.
	“Uh, yeah. Why wouldn’t I? I could go to a guy's house and then find out I’m being brought into the fold of a harem because HER mana smells good,” Tabby explained, “Those two horned cucks need to stay out of my life and my vidya.”
	“Vidya games?” George asked with a smile, “Any good vidya right now?” He stepped out of the car and started to pump gas.
	“Eh, not really. These Four X and Grand Strategy games are really pissing me off,” She complained.
	George nodded, “Maybe a simpler game would be in order,” As he started to pump gas, the man smirked, “There could be hounds here. I’ve never been to this neighborhood before, there could be hellhounds anywhere.”
	“With a car, you can go anywhere you want,” Tabby giggled, “I didn’t know men could be based like this.”
	“I could say the same. It’s hard to find guys like me or girls like you since we spend so long holed up, you know?”
	“Your friends dragged you out of the house too?” Tabby ribbed.
	George nodded, “Yeah,” He looked around as the gas finished filling up, “Could you save me from a hellhound?”
	“M-Maybe not in a fight… but beforehand as a preventative thing there’s always–” She cut herself off, “D-do you need protection from hellhounds?”
	“I’m mostly joking,” He blushed, realizing what he was kidding about, “But… I dunno. Sometimes I really feel like I missed my chance for a girlfriend, maybe I should just settle for a hound.”
	“Don’t say that! You can’t let yourself get abused by a hound for the rest of your life. I’m right here!” Tabby blurted out, “What if I was your girlfriend!? How could you not want such a based and redpilled, superior cat girl!?”
	“I– Uh,” George’s face turned red, his mind shut off, and his heart pounded. How was he supposed to react to a woman being forward with him? The man and cheshire both jumped as the gas pump made a noise, signaling it was done. The two stared at one another with red faces before they both silently got back in the car. After turning his key, George drove off, his heart still pounding in his ears, “Um, I do like cats better than hounds. Purple cats specifically.”
	“I… yeah. I like boys better than hounds, ya know? You wanna come in?” 
	With a deep breath, he nodded, “Sure.”

	“Here it is…” Tabby trailed off as she gestured to the messy living room. Blankets were thrown across the couch along with a pillow that she had been using to nap. Near the kitchen was her computer desk with energy drinks strewn about it. Said kitchen was clean from disuse, minus the take out boxes in the overflowing trash can, “Pardon the mess.”
	“My place doesn’t look too different,” George shrugged as he took off his coat, “Oh, wow,” His gaze turned to a set of tall book shelves, each cluttered with little collections of nerdy figurines, books, movies, and the like, “Very cool.”
	“T-thanks…” Tabby stammered. Both had red faces and pounding hearts, “What do we do now?”
	“Uh, I thought you’d know,” He chuckled sheepishly.
	“What? I’ve never even seen a penis! The only thing I do know is that I don’t want to be a stinky, smelly, neet femcel anymore! Make me your wife! Give me your cum! Fill me up like a Twinkie! I don’t care if you’re a robot or not anymore!” The cheshire sobbed as she wrapped her arms around the man she had fallen in love with at first sight, “You’re too based to let a fucking hound touch you! I have to have you!”
	The heartache George had felt for many years finally subsided. He hugged the cat back, “Alright. You can have me. Should… we go to the bedroom?”
	Tabby pulled him onto the couch, throwing a few blankets aside. The cheshire was quick to start to run her hands on the man’s body, “How’s– How’s that, handsome?”
	“Your hands are soft,” He replied as his hand went to her breast and gave it a small squeeze. The cheshire yowled with a desperate, horny moan, “S-sorry.”
	“Don’t. Stop,” Tabby demanded, taking his hand in hers and pressing it into her breast. She was panting heavily as her free hand started aggressively rubbing his groin. The two horny, star-struck lovers moaned and groaned in one another’s ears for what felt like hours just touching and exploring eachothers bodies, “I can’t take it anymore,” Tabby groaned before grabbing George’s pants and pulling his jeans down. He pulled her shirt off, revealing her breasts and putting his face between them before kissing the nipples on each. The man grabbed his underwear and yanked them down, his member falling out before the cheshire. Tabby’s cat mind made all of her hair stand on end and she jumped back.
	“What’s wrong?” George asked as he pulled his shirt off. 
	As the more human or mamano part of her mind came to, Tabby realized it was just a penis. Not a snake, “Nothing,” She tore her own clothes off and got on George’s lap, “Grab my hips and shove it in me.”
	“S-shove it in? W-will that hurt?”
	“Goddammit,” The sexually frustrated bottom of a cheshire pressed her lips to George’s as she grabbed his rock hard cock and pushed herself down on it. Every feeling other than love and lust vanished from both of their minds as the ecstasy of losing their virginities together washed over their minds. The cheshire moaned loudly as she started to raise up and then bring herself slowly back down. Losing all his anxieties, George grabbed her hips and pulled her back down and helped push her back up. The lovers’ pressed their bodies up against one another, their sex sweat mixing together as the room filled with the steamy love. Both of their voices cried out in moans and cries as they neared orgasm. Tabby grabbed his shoulders and threw her head back, “CUM, DAMMIT!” She screamed. 
	In fear, George shot a hot load of cum into Tabby as his penis throbbed from his loud orgasm. The cheshire’s body trembled and shook as her own orgasm came and went. The two panted on the couch, basking in the warmth of their afterglow. Tabby stood and put her panties back on, keeping George’s seed from spilling out. With the shake of the computer’s mouse, the screen came on and she booted up Crusader Maou III again.
	“Really?” George groaned in his sleepy stupor.
	“I finally know how I can beat those glownuki and the hounds! I’m gonna put the ‘have lots of breeding sex’ ordinance in place and we’ll out breed them!”
	The man sighed and put his pants back on and pulled up a chair, “Alright, let’s see how your game is going…”

	. . . . .

	“I can’t believe I’m touching grass now,” Tabby stepped along a grassy hill with a picnic basket in hand and a thick coat over her body. 
George gripped her other hand, “It's been a journey, huh? Getting out in nature and enjoying the fresh air… getting married and moving in together… finally winning a game of Crusader Maou together.”
	“You carried me through that,” Tabby chuckled, “What about one hundred percenting all those Zelda games?”
	“Yeah, that was great too. We should find something else to play,” George decided as he laid out a blanket for the two of them to sit on. Tabby cuddled up to her husband as the two looked out at the sweeping vista where the sun was slowly rising, “Chilly huh?”
	“Having you here makes me feel more than warm enough,” Tabby giggled as she handed her husband and breakfast sandwich, “What else should we do this honeymoon? We’ve got a cabin all to ourselves for the weekend~”
	“Well, are we still wanting to try for a baby? I-I wouldn’t mind having a few kids together.”
	“Just a few?” Tabby pouted, “I wanted a whole soccer team of kids. Imagine all the cute little babies running around our house!” She swooned as she pulled a drink out of the basket, “We have to enact that ‘have lots of breeding sex,’ ordinance, after all.”
	George grabbed an orange juice out of the box and took a sip of it, “We’ll discuss that later. The last thing I want to do is argue with you here.”
	“Fiiine. But I’m draining your balls when we get back!” 
	“I’m looking forward to it,” George smiled before kissing her on the cheek, “I love you.”
	“I love you too, sweetie.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: